Sign of the Coming Apocalypse

While I anticipate the intrusion of the Geico Caveman commercials as much as Angela Merkal anticipates another neckrub from Dubya (my favorite commercial is the guy who lipsyncs to "Urgent" for Verizon), I had to wonder what sort of analysis was being sallied forth on the social undertones of these ads. Not questioning the appeal, I'm just assuming people who like this stuff are high. Just the undertones. The commercial featuring the caveman who is scorned by his caveman buddies for buying Geico insurance kinda reminds me of a Log Cabin Republican shunned by more radical queers, for example. So I took a spin on the net, and for sure found many, many, debates by people with lots of time to spend arguing as to whether the cavemen were black minstrel stereotypes. Or perhaps gay chariactures! Oddly, no one suggests they may be both. This mishigos is mostly on Utube, although I expect an E True Hollywood Story at any minute. -- Notorious AR

The Real Story

A high school student in Fresno, Cinthia Covarrubias, decided that he should run for Prom King. The student is a transgender student, born female now identifying as male. So here he is a senior in high school not only having figured out what many transgenders take a lifetime to wrap their heads around, and he want to be Prom King.

So the royalty-to-be has hit all the major news outlets from CNN on down the line. The interesting thing is that most of the major news sources are carrying a story of a girl that wants to be Prom King. The mainstream media is masking the fact that this is a transgender student for the sake of sensationalism, as if it is more shocking to have a girl running for Prom King than a transgender student running for the Royal Court. I am not about to say that there exist gender equality in schools, but there have been countless advances of biological females who identify as females versus biological females that identify as males. In short, the transgender students have a few hundred generations of catching up to do.

If a biological females identifying as a female were to run for Prom King, so what? We've all seen Victor Victoria. Big deal. There have been such females on the wrestling team, the football team, and the hockey team. If you can hold your on, your in. But this story is different. This is about a high school senior who has figured out his gender identity and is ready to pursue his goals in life - all before he's graduated from high school. I immediately throw this awesome student into the Queeroes category. He may be a biological female, but he sure has balls.

Communication Failure

Yesterday Roseanne Barr had Noam Chomsky on her show. For those of you who are unfamiliar with him, Dr. Chomsky is an MIT Professor Emeritus of linguistics, but is perhaps better known as being an incredible political philosopher. Listening to Noam is like listening to an all you can eat buffet. Like the buffet, there comes a point where you want more of the delicious food, but you can't possibly take another bite. He's that good.

During his talk with Roseanne, Noam made reference to communication failure. I have come to believe, through emails with Roseanne, that her and I have both suffered a communication failure. Roseanne suffered a communication failure when she made critical comments about the LGBTQ community and I suffered a communication failure when I did not consider the larger context of her comments.

Since bringing up my beef with Roseanne, I have received many emails that support Roseanne's position. Many people do believe that the Queer community is too self-centered and only concerned about the issues that directly impact the LGBTQ community. While I may not personally agree with this, I am Queer enough to admit that this is a valid paradigm. Having admitted this much, perhaps I owe Roseanne an apology. Speaking of apologies, Roseanne has profusely apologized for her remarks. She has made amends for her communication failure, even posting ways she should have stated her comments. Enough said. Roseanne, I accept your apology and I extend an apology for you for not giving you the opportunity to apologize or explain yourself.

So there you have it. Never let is be said that this Queer is too good for an apology. Just don't get used to it.

Today 33 people were shot and killed at Virginia Tech. 33 kids were shot. God Bless each of them.

The gunmen is dead.

We don't always get a second chance. Go make up with the one you are fighting with. Go play with your children and your pets. Make it to the gym.

Love today like its your last. Love it with all of your heart and mind. Love it until you are exhausted.

Tomorrow is not promised to us.

Roseanne Speaks

And the drama continues! After posting my blog yesterday, I sent the following letter to KCAA AM 1050, the station that host Roseanne Barr's radio show:

Dear KCAA-AM General Manager:

I am writing to voice my deep concern over Roseanne Barr's statements regarding gays and lesbians where she stated: "They don’t care about minimum wage. They don’t care about any other group other than their own selves because, you know, some people say being gay and lesbian is a totally narcissistic thing, and sometimes I wonder." I am appalled that Ms. Barr has the audacity to criticize a demographic that has been very supportive of her in the past. I certainly hope that your station does not support Ms. Barr's position. I am a free speech advocate and urge Ms. Barr's exercise of that right. I will be exercising my freedom of choice in broadcasting alternatives.

--This morning, much to my surprise, I received the following response:

"this is roseanne barr, and I felt compelled to say that actually, the gay community has never had an advocate who has put themselves on the line more times than I have. The fact that you misconstrue that as gays supporting me, is really disingenuous, in my opinion.. Any DECENT person would have accepted my repeated apologies. I am going to read your letter on the air and talk about the fact that one mispoken sentence voids years of my efforts, from forcing the networks to include gay themes and characters to sponsoring a suicide hotline for gay teens. Those looking for tolerance and undertanding who do not give it back are hypocrites of the worst kind.

Thankfully, most of my gay fans do not feel the need to hammer a mistake into the ground, and jump on a good friend who's track record on their behalf is longer than anyone else's, and self righteously attempt to destroy/silence a woman who has more than made ammends already.

I will be using your name, too. "

--Now I don't know if this was really Roseanne or not, but the response is intriguing. If this was Roseanne, I apparently hit a nerve - a big nerve! Could Roseanne actually feel that I am trying to destroy or silence her? Is that even possible? I have cordially invited Roseanne to address the LGBTQ community at the Long Beach, CA Gay and Lesbian Center. I explained to her that this would be a chance to have an honest, non-hostile, candid dialogue about her views. To my surprise, again, Roseanne replied:

"Dear mr. gottis.. i do accept, but am living in las vegas now...I would love to invite your friends to call in on my radio show and discuss your reactions and let me again attempt to reconnect my radicalism into the correct action on behalf of all americans who are under attack by the right wing elements in this country!! I remain a friend to the gay folk whom i truly love, and i can take the critisism, since it is deserved! thank you so much for your reply!! When I am back in la, i will come on over too!"

So now what? Leave your comment and let me know how I should respond!

Lowering the Barr

On Tuesday, Roseanne Barr dealt a blow to gays and lesbians on her radio show by declaring:

"They don’t care about minimum wage. They don’t care about any other group other than their own selves because, you know, some people say being gay and lesbian is a totally narcissistic thing, and sometimes I wonder."

Isn't that a kick in the groin? After years of support from the LGBTQ community for her stand-up routines, her television series, and her failed public appearances, this is what we get. We have accepted Roseanne in spite of herself and this is the gratitude we receive! We have accepted Roseanne as the serial bride, the serial dieter, and, up to now, the serial offender. The worst part is that what she said was not funny. It wasn't meant to be funny.

If you want to joke about the amount of time gays take to get ready, the amount we spend on clothes, the amount of product in our hair - I get it. But to say we don't care about any other issue or group is both ridiculous and highly incendiary. There are Queer brethren in every facet of life performing every imaginable service from political lobbying to hands-on delivery of social services. There are cops, doctors, lawyers, and child-care providers that are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered taking care of people's parents, siblings, and children. Please, Ms. Barr, tell me again how narcissistic and self-absorbed we are.

I am a free speech advocate. I encourage Ms. Barr to exercise her right to free speech. As for me, I will be exercising another right - freedom of choice. I will be exercising this right as I choose radio show other than Ms. Barr's.

Queer Death Case Not Important

The Advocate reported today that the Detroit Police Department closed the case of an elderly who suffered fatal injuries when he was hit in the back of the head with a pipe and called anti-gay slurs. The Wayne's county medical examiner determined that AndrewAnthos' degenerative spinal condition was exacerbated by a fall and did not support accounts that he had been attacked. This finding came despite eyewitness accounts that Anthos was attacked and Anthos' own disclosure that he was attacked. The picture to the left is a sketch of his attacker.

The Detroit Police Department has failed in their duty to protect and serve. The taxpayers of the city of Detroit and the state of Michigan deserve more than what the Detroit PD is delivering. Perhaps this case was too hard or too distasteful for the Detroit PD to fully pursue, but that is not their decision to make. Every citizen of Detroit has the right to justice. Who else will fall out of favor with the Detroit PD and not get the protection they are entitled to? Will it be a woman? An African American? A Latino? A handicapped person?

The closing of this case embodies the injustice that Queers in the United States continue to endure. This is why hate crimes go unreported and unnoticed. Shame on the Detroit Police Department and the Department's Police Chief, Ella M. Bully-Cummings. You have failed Andrew Anthos and you have failed all of Detroit.

Getting Your Name Out There

Television actor Jason Wahler is the latest TV idiot to hurl racial and anti-gay epitaphs in a news worthy manner. Wahler was arrested in Seattle after a scuffle with a hotel security guard and an altercation with police that led him to use the n and the f words. This is the third such encounter for the 20 year old Wahler since September. Check out the police report at TMZ. What a loser. I can't believe this is someone that anyone, let alone our children, would be aspiring to emulate. This punk, who is apparently of Generation I (I for Idiot), should be the beaming example of the next generation's inclusivity and tolerance.

Instead, Wahler, who was to begin a 60 day jail sentence in May for punching a tow truck driver in L.A., has himself chosen to emulate the great Mel Gibson in his use of racial and anti-gay slurs. I wonder if he will blame it on alcoholism like Mel, or claim that he has a real "problem" like Isaiah Washington when he hurled the f word at fellow Grey's Anatomy co-star T.R. Knight. I guess Wahler will have to wait and see which avenue his publicist is going to take. Look really sad, Wahler. Get a tear in your eye if you can. That's what we really like in an apology.

With an-ever growing line of straight, male actors who are using racial and anti-gay epitaphs, I can't help but wonder if this isn't just a way to get your name out there. Maybe when you are getting on in years (Mel), competing with a cast more talented that yourself (Isaiah), or clinging to some TV series that won't be around in two years (Wahler), making the news by merely calling someone a f-- or a n----- just makes good sense. It is like free publicity, right?

Well, yes, but consider for a moment the consequences that come along with this kind of publicity. I, for one, will never again pay to see a Mel Gibson movie. In fact, if I could find a way to flood the market with pirated Gibson movies without going to jail, I would. Of course jail would be a remote possibly because Mel's movies generally suck and wouldn't sell very well. Back to my point though, getting publicity by being an ass does not have the same value as getting publicity by not being an ass. Mel has polarized the media and to some extent society in general. He will never again enjoy the success of Passion because he has lost a significant portion of his audience. Grey's Anatomy has enough compelling talent on the show to keep it going strong despite Isaiah Washington, but that leaves Wahler in the predicament of not have a significant following and not being on any show with compelling talent to take up the slack for his repulsive behavior. In Wahler's case, this kind of publicity could be a kiss of death.

We all like bad boys, so long as it is controlled bad boy fun. We like tattoos, motorcycles, and even the occasional scowl. What we don't like is when bad boy fun stops being fun. We don't like when telephones are thrown at hotel staff (Russell Crowe), camera men are insulted (Elton John), or when minors are killed needlessly in Beverly Hills car wrecks (Lance Garrison). Wahler's name calling, while not lethal, strays down the path of not-so-fun bad boy behavior. He's dispelled the myth and revealed himself to be ugly and stupid. Its hard to love ugly and stupid.

So for those aspiring actors trying to get your name out there, don't follow the example of Jason Wahler or the other Hollywood types that think any publicity is good publicity. The fact is, racial slurs and anti-gay name calling has gone the way of wearing stretch pants, sporting bandannas, and trashing your hotel room. If you want to be a great actor, concentrate on being a great actor.

Magic Kingdom

On April 6, 2007, the Walt Disney Company announced that same-sex couples were allowed to take part in wedding ceremonies at the company's California and Florida resorts. This is a big step for Disney to recognize the rights of the Queer community to participate in the ceremonies, blah, blah, blah. I would love to give this move by the Walt Disney Company the respect it deserves, but give me a break. This is a company largely supported by the LGBTQ population and for them to throw us crumbs from the gourmet meals they offer to the heterosexual community just throws me into one of those Donald Duck style tantrums.

For anyone who has ever stepped foot into the Magic Kingdom, one of the pervasive traits of the park is the large number of Queers that work there. From the retail salespeople, to the ride operators, to the costumed characters, our LGBTQ brethren are there full of pride. It is blatantly obvious to even the untrained Queer eye that a significant portion of the Magic Kingdom's work force is part of the Lavender Brigade. The Walt Disney Company knows this, just as the company knows that the movies it produces have a large gay following. Sean Griffin wrote a book entitled Tinker Belles and Evil Queens in which he attributes the creation of a number of Disney characters such as Cruella de Vil, Gaston, and a host of others, to the Queer community. I happen to agree with Griffin, but even if you only agreed with him in part, you have to agree that the Walt Disney Company is inexorably tied to the Queer community.

This permanent tie is what makes the exclusion of same-sex couples from the resort's wedding ceremonies so idiotic. The Walt Disney Company was in essence making the statement that Queers can work for the company, spend untold amounts of money on the company, but could by no means be treated equally by the company. A spokesperson for Disney Orlando previously stated that in order to participate in the Orlando wedding ceremonies, each couple had to have a valid Florida marriage license. He was at a complete loss to explain why couples from out of state with wedding licenses from out of state were allowed to wed. The situation was so asinine as to be comical.

I have to disclose that I hold annual passes to Disneyland. It is a great place. I love going there with my Queer friends because it is all about fantasy. It is a world where good always triumphs and there is always a happy ending. It is a world of inclusion where the ugliest of the ugly end up with friends and someone to love so long as they are pure of heart. While I realize life isn't like this, I expect the Magic Kingdom to be like this. I also expect the company behind the Magic Kingdom to behave in a manner that is inclusive. Sometimes inclusive, partially inclusive, part-time inclusive, differentially inclusive is not good enough. So congratulations to the Walt Disney Company for making a good political move by granting same-sex wedding ceremonies in the face of massive public outcry. Perhaps next time the company will be pure of heart and make inclusivity a policy from the outset. In doing so, I wouldn't have to ponder a boycott of the Walt Disney Company and that would be the happiest ending of all.

Go Home and Die

Sometimes it is difficult to wrap our head around the policies and doctrines of foreign countries. This is particularly true when cultural and religious doctrines vastly differ from what we are accustomed to in the United States. When it comes to Britain, however, I expect there to be more commonalities than differences. For this reason, I am at a loss as to why the U.K. would deport a family with an HIV-positive mother and father back to a country where their political foes will kill them or the lack of HIV medication will.

The Manchinjillis are from Malawi, a southeastern African nation bordered by Zambia, Tanzania, and Mozambique. Before leaving for the U.K. to claim asylum, the Manchinjillis had their house burned down and were faced with persecution from their former government. When the Manchinjillis return to Malawi where over 1 million people live with HIV/AIDS, there will be no medication for them. There will be no medical care. They will be social pariahs. Soon, their seven year-old son, Dumisani, will be an orphan.

I am certain that Britain is concerned with the public cost of migration. So is the U.S. So are lots of other countries. But what about the moral cost of not permitting persons with dramatic, extenuating circumstances to remain? If you don't qualify for permanent immigration status as the result of being a political target and being a family with two HIV-positive parents, how does anyone qualify for permanent residency? Does this decision by the U.K. signal a trend where wealthy and healthy immigrants stand the best chance of being granted asylum?

As the steward of taxpayer monies, the government should stringently implement fiscal controls to ensure the judicious use of tax revenues. I understand there exists a possibility of incurring high costs as the result of permitting unfettered migration into a country. My question is, what is the long term moral and social cost of telling migrants to go home and die?

Queeroes: Our Queer Heroes

After my musings yesterday about Angry Little Queens, I am compelled to highlight some not so angry queens that are getting the job done. I am talking about a half dozen or so activists that went to the California capital city of Sacramento to tell lawmakers about anti-gay harassment on high school campuses. I am talking about youth across the nation who are taking the role of activist into their own hands and making moves to change the way that society acts. These young Queeroes have got through their noggins that we may not be able to change the way people think, but to some degree we can stiffen the penalty when their ignorance takes over.

I have long believed that one of the problems with gay leadership is that, unlike ethnic minorities or persons with disabilities, the LGBTQ population can seemingly morph into the majority hetero population at any given time. I believe that if we had large Q's embroidered on all our clothes that our need to be full-time activists would greatly increase. Each Queer would be forced into a leadership role for the sake of survival. That's horribly dangerous, you say? Yip. It was dangerous for every Civil Rights marcher in the South too. People could get killed, you say? Yip. But wake up, Queers are getting killed now. We all know the incredibly sad stories of Brandon Teena and Matthew Shepard, but I am talking about recent murders like that of Ryan Skipper who was stabbed to death last month in Florida. He was stabbed to death by two men in his own car. Ryan's lifeless body was thrown out before the two men drove the car around to their friends' houses pointing out the blood stains in the car. Harassment, beatings, and killings still plague the Queer community. It will take leadership to bring this injustice to an end.

The Queeroes I mentioned in the beginning are accepting this leadership challenge. With 84% of LGBTQ youth experiencing harassment in school, these Queeroes are putting their selves at risk in the hopes of making a difference. May we all be so brave.

Angry Little Queens

Angry Little Queens make me laugh so hard. We've all seen them, but do we understand them? C'mon, you know what I am talking about. These are the hair product laden little lads that literally glide past you in bars, clubs, and other Queeresque places with a look of utter disgust on their faces. Sure they look great in their tight little jeans and sheer t-shirts. Boy, I bet their little sisters are really pissed when they find their favorite clothes missing. But anyway, there they are looking all as hell fantastic...until you reach their tender little faces that are scrunched up into some unrecognizable fit of I don't know what.

I'm not old yet, but I remember 10 years ago when I was the same age as these Angry Little Queens. Oh what a wonderful time it was coming out and meeting guys like myself and well, you get the idea. Some people look back on high school with affection. I would say the same for first coming out. There was a sense of freedom and limitlessness. So what the hell are these Angry Little Queens so angry about?! This should be a time when the world is at their feet and the weight of it is not yet on their shoulders. Instead, they walk around casting glances of death at unsuspecting commoners.

What these little guys don't get is that Angry Little Queens, if not cured, turn into Angry Old Queens. The time to get help is now. There is a basic law of nature that is immutable. People like nice people. There is no escaping this truth. If the Angry Little Queens are expecting to age with friends and to have a content life complete with the ability to get laid on a regular basis, the attitude will have to go. The expiration date on this attitude is about as short as that one guy I met in Boston who didn't have to kneel down to give me, well, more about that later. So here is some free unsolicited advice. Everyone loves a Queen, young or old. Nobody loves an Angry Queen, young or old.

Calling it Quits

I recently had a blowout with my brother over a financial deal that we had. It was all over a truck and the thing went sour and in a matter of a minute we stopped talking to each other for six weeks. Nothing horrible was said, it didn't need to be. We were both pissed off and that is all it took. I was in Vegas this past weekend and recalled a trip there with my brother where we did nothing but argue all the way from L.A. to Vegas. By the time we got there, we were both so furious with each other that we had a "wrestling match" in the hotel room that ended in one bloody lip, a black eye, and the obligatory broken lamp. As I was reminiscing about this wonderful time, I text messaged my brother and asked if he needed another Vegas ass kicking. A minute later the six week period of silence was broken when he called up laughing.

Its great we're talking, but I am stuck with the realization that the past six weeks can't be done over. Everything that happened is gone and "catching up" results in a 90 second recap that amounts to nothing. It is like those Christmas cards you get where people try to tell you everything that happened over the past year. If you can even manage to get through one of those stupid cards, you are left with that So What? feeling. My talk with my brother the other day left me with the same feeling. Great, we made up, but the time is gone. You missed it. I missed it. He's telling me all about work and stuff and all I can think is So What?

I realize I have thrust a lot of people out of my life for dumb reasons. After this latest argument with my brother, I am going to stop that. When I give someone the boot, it is going to be for a good reason and probably for a long time if not permanently. The next time I call it quits I am going to make sure I don't look back over the missed time I can't get back.