I recently had a blowout with my brother over a financial deal that we had. It was all over a truck and the thing went sour and in a matter of a minute we stopped talking to each other for six weeks. Nothing horrible was said, it didn't need to be. We were both pissed off and that is all it took. I was in Vegas this past weekend and recalled a trip there with my brother where we did nothing but argue all the way from L.A. to Vegas. By the time we got there, we were both so furious with each other that we had a "wrestling match" in the hotel room that ended in one bloody lip, a black eye, and the obligatory broken lamp. As I was reminiscing about this wonderful time, I text messaged my brother and asked if he needed another Vegas ass kicking. A minute later the six week period of silence was broken when he called up laughing.
Its great we're talking, but I am stuck with the realization that the past six weeks can't be done over. Everything that happened is gone and "catching up" results in a 90 second recap that amounts to nothing. It is like those Christmas cards you get where people try to tell you everything that happened over the past year. If you can even manage to get through one of those stupid cards, you are left with that So What? feeling. My talk with my brother the other day left me with the same feeling. Great, we made up, but the time is gone. You missed it. I missed it. He's telling me all about work and stuff and all I can think is So What?
I realize I have thrust a lot of people out of my life for dumb reasons. After this latest argument with my brother, I am going to stop that. When I give someone the boot, it is going to be for a good reason and probably for a long time if not permanently. The next time I call it quits I am going to make sure I don't look back over the missed time I can't get back.
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