Marriage Not As Queer As It Used To Be

Canadian wedding counters reported today that in 2007 there has only been one same-sex marriage, down from 107 last year. Our neighbors to the North seem to have fallen short of the anticipated demand for hooking up same gendered couple in the bonds of holy matrimony. When I heard this today, I was really quite shocked. It made me think about what the reaction in the United States would be. Would it be the same? When marriage was temporarily legalized in San Francisco and New Paltz, NY, the demand was outrageous. Lines around the block. Sleeping on sidewalks. Ponies prancing two by two. Well, you get the point. But that was when we knew that it wasn't quite legal. It was still a rebellious, edgy act to go get married. What if it was legal?

The preservation of Queer culture has always been important to me. I want to know that I am different and better because of it. I don't aspire to say that it is okay to be different. I say that it is my God given right to be different and I embrace that difference with every fiber of my being. That difference makes me who I am. One of the differences is that I cannot marry my partner of 11 years the way that a hetero couple can. How would I feel if this difference no longer existed? Would I still care as much about getting married? You bet I would.

Marriage cannot be a tool for others to dole out based on their perception of legitimacy. Yet, that is exactly how it is done. As tempted as I am, I won't go into my entire position on why marriage should be legal between same-sex couple, suffice to say I believe it should be a right for everyone. For the record, I do draw the line at marriages between animals and people. For all of this back story, the question remains, why have gay marriages declined so much in Toronto? I propose the reason for the drop in marriages is because we have the right to get married in Canada - or not get married. We could have guessed that once the initial excitement of getting married wore off that there would be a decline in the number of marriage ceremonies. Maybe not such a dramatic decline, but one nonetheless. The beauty of this is that we don't have to get married, because its our right.

I had a birthday party this last weekend and I publicly thanked my "partner" of 11 years for all of his love and support. One of my friends from worked asked why I called him my partner instead of my husband. It was a good question and I didn't have a great answer. Perhaps it is all of the years of substituting "partner" since "husband" is a legal fantasy at this point in U.S. history. I'll continue working towards gaining the right to call my "partner" my "husband" so that one day I can choose not to.