Today a veritable boatload of lesbians will descend upon and IHOP in Grandview, Missouri to protest the ousting of 4 lesbians, two of which upset the restaurant by kissing in public. The cavalcade of lesbians will be bringing brooms to "clean up the corporate brush-off" received by the four booted lesbians.
Now the facts of the story are fuzzy as to whether it was the management of the IHOP or customers that had problem with the public display of affection, but I will say it doesn't matter. I completely agree that offensive displays of public affection should be banned for the good of society. I have compiled a list of offensive displays of public affection that should be banned forever: 1) Courtney Love and Bruce Willis. 2) Any image with Whitney and Bobby. (I still get chills). 3) Tom Green and any animal. 4) Michael Jackson and any, um, anyone. 5) Donald Trump and his hair. 6) Jeff Goldblum and Nicole Richie. 7) Hugh Hefner and any playmate.
I think the Queer community might be in a position to make a deal here. If we promised not to engage in public displays of affection that could be found offensive, we can leverage the prohibition of the aforementioned offensive acts! We could also agree that the mere definition of offensive can be determined by a small number of individuals, say the number that could fit into an IHOP in a small Missouri town. What's good for Grandview, Mo, is most certainly good for the rest of us.
But why stop at banning offensive displays of affection. How about if we ban stupid people? I would have to suggest that we start at that little IHOP in Grandview. After all, I find stupid people offensive, so that should be barred from sharing the same space with me. Of course, this would certainly mean a rapid decline in the patrons and management at the Grandview IHOP, but I maintain that as a beef jerky chewing, tractor riding, red blood American, I don't have to subject myself to anything that offends me. Much less a person with a sexual orientation that I am not used to.
Of course, there are heroes in this story. The heroes are the four lesbians who didn't give a damn in the first place. These heroes didn't give a damn about spreading the word about what happened to them. The individuals staging a protest tonight are also heroes because they aren't passively letting injustices transpire. If the customers and staff found the lesbian kiss offensive, I am certain droves of lesbians and lesbian supporters convening at the IHOP will be found to be offensive with a side of offensive.
Now the facts of the story are fuzzy as to whether it was the management of the IHOP or customers that had problem with the public display of affection, but I will say it doesn't matter. I completely agree that offensive displays of public affection should be banned for the good of society. I have compiled a list of offensive displays of public affection that should be banned forever: 1) Courtney Love and Bruce Willis. 2) Any image with Whitney and Bobby. (I still get chills). 3) Tom Green and any animal. 4) Michael Jackson and any, um, anyone. 5) Donald Trump and his hair. 6) Jeff Goldblum and Nicole Richie. 7) Hugh Hefner and any playmate.
I think the Queer community might be in a position to make a deal here. If we promised not to engage in public displays of affection that could be found offensive, we can leverage the prohibition of the aforementioned offensive acts! We could also agree that the mere definition of offensive can be determined by a small number of individuals, say the number that could fit into an IHOP in a small Missouri town. What's good for Grandview, Mo, is most certainly good for the rest of us.
But why stop at banning offensive displays of affection. How about if we ban stupid people? I would have to suggest that we start at that little IHOP in Grandview. After all, I find stupid people offensive, so that should be barred from sharing the same space with me. Of course, this would certainly mean a rapid decline in the patrons and management at the Grandview IHOP, but I maintain that as a beef jerky chewing, tractor riding, red blood American, I don't have to subject myself to anything that offends me. Much less a person with a sexual orientation that I am not used to.
Of course, there are heroes in this story. The heroes are the four lesbians who didn't give a damn in the first place. These heroes didn't give a damn about spreading the word about what happened to them. The individuals staging a protest tonight are also heroes because they aren't passively letting injustices transpire. If the customers and staff found the lesbian kiss offensive, I am certain droves of lesbians and lesbian supporters convening at the IHOP will be found to be offensive with a side of offensive.
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