To Have and To Hold

Sometimes we just need to borrow someone for a while. Sure, maybe its not my husband, but as long as he is someones husband, that is a big turn-on for me and that is all that really matters. Now doubt be offended, after all I am Queer and we just have a different spin on sexuality and the sexual experience than you do. So let your man go for a little sweetie, at least long enough for me to have a good time and send him home wanting to come back for more.

Okay, so that's not me, but as I was searching through the m4m section of Craigslist yesterday, I was marveling at the number of guys seeking guys who are straight or married. I get the straight part. Its a conquest. We're gay guys, so we like guys and straight guys act like, well, guys. Not that I don't love a delicious little twink for dessert, but liking guys is kind of the whole premise of being a gay guy. But the married thing, I just don't get.

Is it the thrill of possibly being caught that makes being with a married dude so appealing? I'd rather keep my risky sex in public where the only consequence is endless media exposure and related public ridicule. Messing around with another woman's man just ends of with some poor rabbit boiling in a pot on my stove and battery acid on my car. Is the married part a requirement to prove that he is really straight? Well that could be since only straight married guys look through Craiglist's m4m searching for hookups with other guys.

I guess the other thing that I don't get about hooking up with straight guys is the creepy factor. That little feeling I get thinking about getting together with a married guy knowing that there is someone at home waiting for him. This feeling gets even more pronounced when I think about kids being in the picture. Now, I fully understand the process of coming out if you've made the mistake of getting married while denying your true orientation, and let me be the first to fully embrace the naked body of a man who has decided to rectify that situation permanently. I say bring him on, kids and all, and we'll be the Queer Brady Bunch. But thinking about someone waiting for this guy to come home while we're identifying anatomical marvels is just, well, creepy.

I still haven't really answered the question why our gay brethren are chasing after the married kind. I think it must be the same reason that straight guys lust after beautiful airbrushed women that don't really exist. For years successful marketing firms thrust idealized images of women at the public, making straight guys drool and women lose their minds trying to imitate the images. These same firms have been equally as successful at shoving impossible gorgeous men down our throats. (No pun intended). Now the Queer community has completely bought into it. We want the impossible. Don't just give us straight guys, give us straight married guys! Maybe by asking for the impossible, we can settle on the next best thing, while maintaining the dignity of having tried for the best.

Straight women have wised-up and rebelled against that ad agencies and publications that have turned women into something they never were and never could be. Queers should stand up and take notice that we're never going to get the A&F boy because he doesn't exist. He's not in WeHo, Chelsea, or Miami. He's not straight and he sure as hell ain't married because he is the perfectly created corporate commodity whose sole purpose is separate you from your MasterCard. If he wasn't so hot, he would be a real bastard, wouldn't he?

I think that I'll keep cruising Craigslist, and the better of my regional parks, to find that real connection. The pictures of the many gay prospects may not always be real pretty, but at least their real and at least their gay.